silvair on DeviantArthttps://www.deviantart.com/silvair/art/Acceptance-193732278silvair

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Acceptance

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This is a picture about accepting that I'm not in an art related field of study, but I shouldn't feel as though I cannot do art just because I'm not in that field. This picture is about me getting over the bitterness of the major I am in, and coming to terms with it.

So here are my confessions:

I'm a biochemistry and molecular biology major. I decided to stay in this major because I didn't know what the hell I wanted to do at first. I chose to put myself through the pain of studying, labs, and stress. At any point I could have changed majors or dropped out of school, but I didn't and I have no one to blame for that, because ultimately, I did have a choice.

I don't hate this major. However, it is a LOT of work, and I often feel overwhelmed by it because I don't understand as much as others. I can't blame them for my lack of understanding. I shouldn't blame myself for not being perfect at it. I should try my hardest and do what I can. I shouldn't punish myself by taking away art, which consumed 4 solid years of my life during high school. I shouldn't ignore that chapter of my life.

I realize now that I cannot shut art out of my life, because it is something that has kept my mind in check and it is something that makes me happy to do. I realize now that even though I am not improving as much as I thought I would be before I entered university in 2008, it's not a race. I can pace myself and improvement isn't as important as enjoying what I do with art. The brushstrokes, the colours, the textures, the pressure sensitivity - these are the things that actually matter.

This random desire to make these assertions was definitely inspired by :iconravenskar: and her conflict between art and her studies. Reading about her passion for art and her perseverance through her studies made me realize that I don't have to shut out art from my life.

About the image:
2hrs 3 minutes, oekaki shi-painter, tablet

It's about the feeling of being caged, but having the key. Yah I know, I'm bad with subtlety in my pictures :P.

BTW. I did tell my bf about my anime/manga stuff. I realize now how silly it was to think he would dump me over something like that. Of course, I still have trouble with confessing to the anime/manga stuff to my friends and just random people, but perhaps in time I will be able to freely express that.
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© 2011 - 2024 silvair
Comments35
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erenik's avatar
Heh, I can relate. Except that I'm trying to juggle music in there too.. >_>

And good! :)